


sixteen twenty

by mahoun



Category: VIXX
Genre: Canon - Predebut, M/M, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 14:09:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5419955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mahoun/pseuds/mahoun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when he’s tired and on the edge of tears, sanghyuk takes 10 minutes for himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sixteen twenty

the lights are out in the practice room but someone’s still there.  
sanghyuk shifts a bit to the right, bottom sitting on the floor, and leans with his back against the wall. he closes his eyes, indulging in the tiredness flowing across his body until he decides to get up and leave the room.  
 _just a few minutes_ , he tells himself, _i’ll just go up on the rooftop for a few minutes and then catch up to the others before they go home._  
he lazily takes the stairs, sighing. lately he keeps wondering if all this pressure is worth it, if he’s gonna make it after all. if he’s cut out for being an idol at all.  
talking with the others is difficult when they act like he’s barely there. when they scold him for every little mistake he makes. for being a little late to practice. for messing up the dance routine over and over again.  
when he’s tired, drenched with sweat and on the edge of tears, he takes 10 minutes for himself and sneaks to the rooftop of their company’s building. he feels at peace there, with the wind blowing in his face and the sunset turning to dusk right before his eyes.  
he finds the door to the rooftop half-open this time but doesn’t question it. it takes him a few seconds to realize that someone’s there, in his favorite spot, looking at the sky like he does everyday.  
he hesitates a bit before going up to the familiar figure in front of him.  
“jaehwan hyung?” his own voice comes out high-pitched, almost childlike, startling him.  
jaehwan turns to look at him, surprised. he clearly didn’t hear him getting close.  
“d-don’t tell anyone, sanghyuk”  
he blinks confusedly. tell what? to whom?  
jaehwan points at the half-used cigarette in his hand and then gestures to him to hush about it, something similar to a grin forming on his face.  
“i’m not supposed to do this” he laughs bitterly, taking the cigarette to his lips, “they told me to quit. for my voice, you know. but sometimes things get so stressful that i let myself slip. pretty pathetic, right?”  
he laughs it off, and sanghyuk thinks that his laughter is just as pretty as his voice.  
“wanna take a drag?”  
“w-what?”  
“do you wanna try it?” jaehwan smiles, extending his arm to him.

sanghyuk coughs bluntly, his eyes a bit teary. “this sucks!”  
jaehwan laughs, patting him on the back. “so you really did never smoke a cigarette in your life? geez, being young sure is amazing!”  
“it’s not like you’re old…”  
“i know i’m not! i was just saying.” he turns his head to look at the sky, and sanghyuk imitates him, secretly looking at him with the corner of his eyes.  
 _i wonder what’s on his mind_ , he thinks.  
“i’m thinking about my girlfriend” jaehwan’s voice sounds bitter. “you know, some days i wonder if all of this is gonna be worth it in the end. i wonder if leaving her was worth it.”  
sanghyuk feels a weird lump forming in his throat. “i wonder about that, too.”  
before he even realizes it, he’s crying. “i came here late, when everyone had long knew each other. i’m young, and i’m not as talented, i have a lot to catch up to and i have to balance school on top of that and-”  
jaehwan’s arms feel nice around him, they have a familiar warmth that makes him feel like he finally belongs somewhere. he would never feel lonely again, if he could have those arms around him everyday. he knows that he could go through this, if he had jaehwan with him.  
he quickly shakes his head, trying to dismiss those thoughts.  
“are you okay?” jaehwan’s voice shakes him, bringing him back to reality.  
his arms are not around him anymore and it feels colder than he remembered it to be.  
“i was… thinking about the other day. in the recording studio. thanks for stepping up and defending me, i’m really grateful for that.” he keeps looking at his own feet, fidgeting a bit. looking at jaehwan is not an option, not now that he’s definitely blushing.  
he feels an hand patting his back and jaehwan’s smiling at him, a smile so blinding he feels like he can’t keep his eyes open for much longer.  
“you’re my friend” jaehwan says, and sanghyuk’s chest hurts a bit but he doesn’t know why.  
“let’s go now, the others must be looks for us” he smiles at him again, and sanghyuk feels all of his insecurities and hardships dissolve for a second.  
he knows that he could go on forever if jaehwan always smiled at him like that.

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on [tumblr](http://mahoun.tumblr.com/post/94330099966/kenhyuk-sixteen-twenty)!


End file.
